The Naughty Natal Report
Interpretations of the humorous kind for:
Harry H Corbett
February 28, 1925
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
This astrological analysis is based
on the following astrological data:
Sun 9 Pis 16
Moon 15 Tau 17
Mercury 4 Pis 48
Venus 25 Aqu 27
Mars 14 Tau 46
Standard time observed
GMT: 08:50:00 Time Zone: 6 hours, 30 mins. East
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
For Professional Charts and Reports
Sun in Pisces:
Pisces - Key Words: Perfecting the Art of Masochism &
Compassion. Kind of a "Do your worst to me, I
can take it attitude" while signing their
will over to you.
A typical Pisces patient having an internal at the Doctor's office. "I said more pain! I deserve it and I want it now!". Pisces uses the Phrase "I Love you" like people inquiring if you put on clean underwear in case you were in an accident. It has no meaning, it just seems like the natural thing to say.
Don't be alarmed if a Pisces puts you under verbal attack, it is just their way of asking you to excuse them, because they either have something better to do, or someone to do it with. Then again, they may just want to be alone, and a front line verbal attack assures that the insult will justify you leaving.
Pisces is the most giving person in the Zodiac, and to prove it, they will give to you, and you and you!
Lovemaking is the ultimate space vehicle for Pisces, as they can get lost in it for hours.
Of all the signs in the Zodiac, Pisces are the ones who have the broadest beliefs of all. Astrology, Tarot, Telepathy, Witchcraft, extraterrestrials, tea leaves, pendulum dowsing, pyramids, astral travel, out of body experiences, Nostradamus, & Bermuda Triangle just to name a few. Communication with trees, fruit, dolphins, and grass are just a few of the Pisces fan club.
When people tell a Pisces native to get lost, they can do so very easily as they slip into their own fantasy world, they don't even have to physically move or go somewhere else,. . . they're gone! Moods come over them like the changing of the tides. A great many Pisces have experienced a difficult birth, mainly because they took a peek out of the womb and didn't like what they saw. I can't actually blame them!
Pisces people have perfected the art of lying to such a degree that by simply opening their mouths, miles and miles of cosmic ca-ca emerges with the clarity of pure water. That is the only thing pure about it however. Pisceans have the exceptional ability NOT to be able to handle money at all, and in the workplace they are the drifters, who may be working today, or hanging out on skid row tomorrow. They have also perfected the art of making the same mistakes over and over again. Pisceans just like to suffer.
Like the Aquarian counterpart, Pisceans have the capacity to drink entirely too much.
The Pisces memory for the most part is slow. Like the Gemini native, a Pisces can go out on a date in their car and return home on a boat, having no idea that they didn't leave on a boat to begin with.
Moon in Taurus:
The Emotions - This is what I really need to be complete.
The almighty dollar is their weakness, it makes them strong, needed, and gives them a strong sense of power over others. A real stubbornness exists with people with Moon in Taurus that simply must have the last word in any conversation and, cannot stop or give in to any situation even though they know they are dead wrong . . . . "I know money is what I need, I'm insecure!" says the typical Taurean, "and I hate to charge you anything at all for my services", "But that will be $35. just the same."
If you want to see a Moon in Taurus native blow a fuse and have an emotional breakdown (which isn't probable under normal circumstances), give them two things to do at the same time and tell them you need them both, yesterday, or see if they can juggle and chew gum at the same time. You'll probably get the reply "Do you want me to chew gum, or juggle, now make up your mind!" Just for a laugh, tell this Moon in Taurus native you are going to make a change in their job description. Lead it off with "To Include: In addition to your present job, the list that follows:" Ah, the panic in their minds as gears change, brain cells snap, the eyes go buggy and around in circles, and "terror" rattles the nervous system, then, the inevitable cigarette goes into the mouth, like a pacifier.
The Moon in Taurus's emotions tend to be steady, just like making bank deposits week after week, after week, easy does it! Yes, we are secure now, and we're feeling much better, thank you! You can always tell an emotionally unhappy Moon in Taurus person because they always wind up with sore throats or problems with the throat, or have their heads buried in the cookie jar and any form of sweets.
The typical Moon in Taurus native is very practical, and uses instinct in emotional situations. This means, that if it feels good, and they can profit by it, they'll do it, no matter what the task!
Moon in Taurus natives never rush into love, for love to them is like moldy cheese in the refrigerator, just waiting to be thrown out because they just never got around to it. At that very moment, they take notice of it. Courtships are not the Moon in Taurus's style, because to them, it is just a bunch of Indians running around in circles. After awhile, they forget who is who and why. Moon in Taurus natives don't commit easily, and when they do, they should be committed, literally. In other words, some people find commitments give strength to relationships, but Moon in Taurus people see it as a sign of ownership.
Mercury in Pisces:
Mercury represents the thought process and what the mind sends to the body. Mercury rules how we communicate, what we talk about, and what we think about. Bearing that in mind, here is what they are apt to think and talk about.
These people are highly poetic and psychic and music will have a strong effect on them. Be careful of the ever popular "Moody syndrome" and making left turns into negativity.
Some other goodies located in this sign is being a wee bit too over sensitive and easily hurt. Try to avoid resentment if possible, if not, avoid it anyway.
Here is the last person on earth that would rather talk about lovemaking than do it. They are not intimate if they don't feel like it, there ain't no two doubts about it. Lovemaking can be a burden for them if done too much, so they must try to do it in moderation and use the rest of the time to slaughter cattle, rebuild engines or work on aircraft.
They don't need to be "in" a relationship all the time, but should they turn over in bed and there is someone there, what the heck.
Venus in Aquarius:
Venus defined is: Romance, the action that brings satisfaction. Food, flowers, little chubby people shooting arrows, fertility, and lots of groveling. Here is how the art of love is interpreted by this placement of Venus:
Venus in Aquarius has all of the emotional satisfaction of an ice cube down your pants, which by the way has the same results for these people. They have no scruples in romance or lovemaking and will go after anything that walks, talks, or crawls with the emotions of a snowman that even the sun cannot melt.
This native also has the capacity to make rehearsed and prerecorded sounds while making love. As an example: "Oh baby, oh yes baby, do it now, oh yes baby". Don't put any emotions into it while you read it, just read it, then you have the emotions.
Commitments for Venus in Aquarius are limited to hello, and goodbye. "Oh look, someone new to play with until something more interesting comes along".
Foreplay and emotional response for this sign is best illustrated by reading a book while making love, or instead of it making the same sounds associated with the sexual act.
There was an old story that I heard a long time ago that illustrates this native to a "T". "If I should fall asleep while we are making love, please pull my nightgown down". It's coarse and uncouth I agree, but accurate.
Mars in Taurus:
Mars defined: "Its get down and dirty time". Raw passions unleashed upon suspecting and non suspecting persons. Actions desiring prompt and equal reactions of any kind. To get very specific, this is how this great bundle of energy is used in the personal natal chart. This is how that energy interacts with their surroundings.
This is the placement of the person who will do anything for money. I would never suggest that this person would prostitute themselves for money! Well, alright I would! A word of advice, a person with this placement is as possessive as a gorilla with a banana and just as resentful and jealous if you get it away from them.
A Taurus in heat has all the grace of a Brahma bull trying to freight train a Rodeo Clown, and with just about the same results. There they are, lying flat and looking straight up with no idea who, or what you are, much less where!
You can tell a sexually frustrated Taurus very easily. You will find them in the kitchen cooking, . . . . EVERYTHING! When this sign releases their love making passion, the results are similar to having a building drop on you, a very large building. This is to say that when they give themselves, they give themselves completely. Who wants complete, instead save some for a rainy day!
If this native knows they can get a great deal by doing a slightly naughty favor, expect a fantastic reaction to your proposition. Just make sure that you understand who owns what in the long run.