
The Naughty Natal Report
Interpretations of the humorous kind for:
Monica Lewinsky
July 23, 1973
12:21 PM
San Francisco, California
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
This astrological analysis is based
on the following astrological data:
Sun 0 Leo 46
Moon 9 Tau 01
Mercury 25 Can 07
Venus 28 Leo 27
Mars 20 Ari 09
Daylight Savings Time observed
GMT: 19:21:00 Time Zone: 8 hours West
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
AstrolReport.com
For Professional Charts and Reports
http://www.astrolreport.com
Sun in Leo:
Leo: Key Words: How great thou Art! What more needs to be said?
"I did it for you, what do you mean you won't do it for me?", says the
unappreciated Leo. That sums up the main characteristics of the Leo native,
except they need to communicate without the use of a sledge hammer to bring
their point across.
Positive attributes for Leo natives is that they don't carry grudges in any
situation, it is too much of an effort, instead Leo's carry coolers full of
party favors around with them at all times, just in case an opportunity for fun
and amusement comes up, and oh yes, Leo's talk very loud. Leos hate to compete,
mainly because they are having too good a time and prefer doing nothing. It's an
automatic "You win, let's party" situation.
Leo's will spend every dime they have and some they don't have (on the old
credit cards) to make an impression on this weeks love God or Goddess. In some
instances (more than not) the Leo's search for romance and conquering proves
very expensive, and very unsatisfying, if at takes place at all! The Leo male
will find it amazing that they bring candy, flowers and all the niceties on a
date or other informal setting and don't score, or their expectations are shot
down, and then the same object of this Leo's affections will go out with the
first person who mistreats them (figuratively) and maul them like a tigress
making love for the very first time. It just baffles the Leo mind, but still
he/she never gives up the pursuit of whatever they are pursuing?
Typical male or female Leo careers can be found in Publishing or TV
productions (you know the one, come on up to my office and read a script for me)
and writing plays or movies.
Marriage for the Leo male or female is like playing Russian Roulette with a
slight twist. In this case, all the chambers have a bullet.
Moon in Taurus:
The Emotions - This is what I really need to be complete.
The almighty dollar is their weakness, it makes them strong, needed, and
gives them a strong sense of power over others. A real stubbornness exists with
people with Moon in Taurus that simply must have the last word in any
conversation and, cannot stop or give in to any situation even though they know
they are dead wrong . . . . "I know money is what I need, I'm insecure!" says
the typical Taurean, "and I hate to charge you anything at all for my services",
"But that will be $35. just the same."
If you want to see a Moon in Taurus native blow a fuse and have an emotional
breakdown (which isn't probable under normal circumstances), give them two
things to do at the same time and tell them you need them both, yesterday, or
see if they can juggle and chew gum at the same time. You'll probably get the
reply "Do you want me to chew gum, or juggle, now make up your mind!" Just for a
laugh, tell this Moon in Taurus native you are going to make a change in their
job description. Lead it off with "To Include: In addition to your present job,
the list that follows:" Ah, the panic in their minds as gears change, brain
cells snap, the eyes go buggy and around in circles, and "terror" rattles the
nervous system, then, the inevitable cigarette goes into the mouth, like a
pacifier.
The Moon in Taurus's emotions tend to be steady, just like making bank
deposits week after week, after week, easy does it! Yes, we are secure now, and
we're feeling much better, thank you! You can always tell an emotionally unhappy
Moon in Taurus person because they always wind up with sore throats or problems
with the throat, or have their heads buried in the cookie jar and any form of
sweets.
The typical Moon in Taurus native is very practical, and uses instinct in
emotional situations. This means, that if it feels good, and they can profit by
it, they'll do it, no matter what the task!
Moon in Taurus natives never rush into love, for love to them is like moldy
cheese in the refrigerator, just waiting to be thrown out because they just
never got around to it. At that very moment, they take notice of it. Courtships
are not the Moon in Taurus's style, because to them, it is just a bunch of
Indians running around in circles. After awhile, they forget who is who and why.
Moon in Taurus natives don't commit easily, and when they do, they should be
committed, literally. In other words, some people find commitments give strength
to relationships, but Moon in Taurus people see it as a sign of ownership.
Mercury in Cancer:
Mercury represents the thought process and what the mind sends to the body.
Mercury rules how we communicate, what we talk about, and what we think about.
Bearing that in mind, here is what they are apt to think and talk about.
Give this person a life jacket, as their mind is constantly under water. In
other words, the mind is bogged down in the glop of emotions, and they cannot
separate them. On a positive note this position gives them the capacity for
being extremely psychic, but they must develop it.
Making love to them is so private they will be lucky if their lover can find
them, much less do anything else! Yes, she was one of those quiet ones! The
perfect fantasy for them is taking a casual boat trip to a remote island,
sinking the boat saying "Oops, oh dopey me!, Looks like we will be here for
awhile". "Now what can we do to pass the time until the rescue boat comes?"
There should be signs in Libraries that say " No Cancerians allowed". They
talk much too loud!
Venus in Leo:
Venus defined is: Romance, the action that brings satisfaction. Food, flowers,
little chubby people shooting arrows, fertility, and lots of groveling. Here is
how the art of love is interpreted by this placement of Venus:
This sign has the emotional response of a wall switch and just as exciting.
They can be compassionate and demonstrative when they want to be, and
calculating sometimes in what they wish to acquire.
The woman of the species must be admired, cherished, and complimented on
every aspect of her being, and then some.
Men of the species usually lay enough compliments on you to make you barf and
feel good about it afterwards. Love that satisfies the ego side of the self
belongs to Venus in Leo.
People with this placement are demonstrative and will probably try to seduce
you while acting out Romeo & Juliet, or some other kinky invention or intention.
Excitement is the key for these people. Have you ever tried making love while
hand gliding or swinging from a chandelier. The more expensive display these
people can put on to get you in the mood, the better and it seems the head
waiter always knows these people, whether they have been in the restaurant
before or not.
Mars in Aries:
Mars defined: "Its get down and dirty time". Raw passions unleashed upon
suspecting and non suspecting persons. Actions desiring prompt and equal
reactions of any kind. To get very specific, this is how this great bundle of
energy is used in the personal natal chart. This is how that energy interacts
with their surroundings.
This is where this native finds their true strength. If you are smart, you
will tranquilize them before lovemaking, otherwise there will be very
unattractive skid marks on the sheets where they come in for a landing. Even
with the tranquilizers, expect the sensitivity of a mountain lion in heat. They
are quick on the old trigger and premature in everything, I mean EVERYTHING!
Aries has all the love making gracefulness of a cannon firing a 2000 pound
shell at a target 100 miles away, missing it and spaying a sheep, guarded by a
shepherd minding his own business, who must now explain this strange occurrence
to his narrow-minded father.
Mars in Aries has the ability to make love while playing cops and robbers or
cowboys and Indians. All of that up and down and giddy yup motion melts them
like a meadow muffin.
A minimum of foreplay saves the day here. " I'm not shallow, I just need
sex!", says Mars in Aries. Never tell an Arien to slow down during love making,
because first of all it isn't in their vocabulary and secondly, slowing down
will be like trying to stop an anchor from falling, it can't be done.